Jen says:
I am not a believer in fate. When people speak of things being destined to happen, I am the one standing behind them, rolling my eyes. In my world, things don’t occur for pre-ordained reasons. We make them happen. We choose.
When my running buddy (and all-around buddy) Wing Taylor asked me last year if I wanted to run the New York Marathon with him and his sister, Charlotte, in 2017, I wondered at the possibility of such an experience. Did I want to run another marathon? Could I afford the trip? Could I manage the time away from work, and my kids? I waffled. I couldn’t decide. I wasn’t sure.
And then Wing proposed that we run for Fred’s Team, for whom we would fundraise in support of Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, the very place where his other sister, Blair, had recently received treatment for oral cancer. That we could run to support people who had seen his sister through such an epic experience made me feel like it would give us some purpose for being there. I felt like maybe the run would be do-able. That I could probably make it happen.
And then a couple of weeks later, just a few weeks ago, an uncle of mine was diagnosed with esophageal cancer. This, in a family where another uncle is in the midst of a battle with kidney cancer. A family where yet another uncle is a survivor of cancer. It’s not that cancer and its brutal, indiscriminate targeting of people is a new thing for me – I’ve lost colleagues, family friends, personal friends to this disease. I know that it is everywhere. It's just that it suddenly felt like it was everywhere in my friend’s family. In my family. It was everywhere, terrifying and worrying the people I love.
And then the day after I received my confirmation email from Fred’s Team, acknowledging that I would be welcomed to the team if I wanted to join, my mom shared with me that she has breast cancer.
So I will run this New York Marathon because I am meant to run it. I have never before believed anything as much as I believe this: Wing and Charlotte and I are supposed to be at that start line in November. We are destined to raise this money, and fated to carry in our hearts all these people we have lost, and those we love, in defiance of this disease.
Wing says:
“Was blind but now I see” - from the lyrics to Amazing Grace - John Newton 1779
“A lot of people don’t realize what’s really going on.” - Miller’s speech from Repo Man - Alex Cox 1984
A Cold Opening
When I looked up the Wikipedia page for the hymn “Amazing Grace” I was intending only to fact check (whether that should be done on Wikipedia is a debate for another day). Date that it was written, name of the writer etc. When, in the introductory paragraph about Amazing Grace writer John Newton, it mentioned that “his life’s path was formed by a variety of twists and coincidences”, I realized that in seeking a connection between Miller’s speech from Repo Man and Amazing Grace, I should have been EXPECTING to find it in the first paragraph!
There will be time for much more discussion of the “lattice of coincidence”, its implications, and the other names we might give it, etc. but today I wanted to simply introduce the concept. The terminology. This theme will be heavily explored in this space by yours truly.
What possible relevance is there to our mission in 2017?
At the highest level, it’s relevant due to the very fact that Fred’s Team exists, and that it benefits Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, and that my sister Blair would be getting treated there, for oral cancer, at the moment that Jen and I were looking into running the NY Marathon. Oh yeah, and that Tom (my old friend) would have run for Fred’s Team a couple of times before and just happen to mention it, specifically, as a great option to ensure a bib for the marathon. Can I get a witness?
But, this rabbit hole goes much much deeper.
And once you know what to look for, the lattice of coincidence starts to look less and less like a series of coincidences, and more like an expression of a fundamental truth. And THAT, will be something I am trying to unpack as the year goes on and we get closer and closer to toeing the line on the Verrazano Narrows Bridge in November!
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